Move Over Savita Bhabhi, Suresh Bhaiyya is the New Stud In Town

A Photo of the Great Gama, Creative Commons
In a starched white banyan and with a boring job.. the perfect man?

I have always had a problem when I find a general consensus of television shows and pornography where the women is the protagonist. I do feel the man is sidelined here.

We allow these highly watched shows get their TRP and the language spoken for women is acceptable to most. It also becomes jokes in parties among certain crowds.

I’ve also seen the defenses of stories like Savita Bhabhi. Yes, it is “subversive for the conservative culture it’s in” and perhaps it represents the new wave of liberalism, and yes, it is indeed “breaking stereotypes”. But I’m not sure it’s subversive or breaking any stereotypes that don’t serve it!

See, Desperate Housewives, Savita Bhabhi etc. etc, are the fantasies of men. Even many that are made by women for women, they have not escaped from the ideas men have of women who have chosen the home as their domain. So well played out that none of us ever question the gender dynamics even today where #MeToo & #KuToo has taken the world by storm.

Why is there little backlash against these fantasies? Why are they so often projected as desperate and with all-consuming lust? Most of all, why is their portrayal so goddamn banal?

The narrative of many such shows and media is that she is horny and also mind you– it is during afternoons, that’s when her libido is at its peak!

I wonder what Dr Kinsey would say to this amorous hour of mystery? Was this ever researched? We would like some scientific data when the sun shines bright the Beautiful Boudi with long hair makes hay.

I have personally been subjected to questions about the quintessential Bengali Boudi and her multiple lovers who visit her during this siesta hour. I am flattered that you consider her the “Apsara of desire”.

But now that you’re stereotyping me anyway, I am also dumbfounded and somewhat insulted that you bracket my desire into only those hours? Hey, we can fall for your masculine charms and get wet in the mornings and evenings, too!

I am sure Boudis, Bhabhis & housewives are very intelligent in maneuvering the clock hands to this hour. She knows when it would be best to get her glow and her flow in order.

Folks, I am bored of the same hackneyed theory of bored housewives wanting action.

We need a new protagonist.
So I decided to create a character called Suresh.

Let’s allow our imagination to run wild. Let us have Suresh, the new equalizer in sexual politics and social change.

Suresh Bhaiya has thick eyebrows, he is 5.9 ft in height, weighs about 80 kilos. He still wears white-hot Rupa vests because as a child his mummy asked him to wear it. The child in him is still alive. But when in the mood he keeps the vest folded and wears a Kurta-pajama and the chest buttons are always open. He starts touching and twirling his chest fuzz as his mind goes amok with all the positions he can think of.

But underneath the boring clothes and boring job he is a hunk of a man! (with some flab around the stomach. You know, for character.)

Suresh Bhaiyya is a pro. He is the answer to the ever-demanding women of today. They don’t give a damn as long as he can perform and especially remain quiet.

Let us not be biased with Savita Bhabhi and why is she only given the tight blouse and a sari that unconsciously is always falling off said blouse and revealing her ample breasts and voluptuous loose morals. We need a dress code for Suresh Bhaiyya too.

Suresh Bhaiyya, just like Savita Bhabhi, is willing to get himself together and up and about with every maid that comes to clean the house, the fish vendor who brings fresh fish from door to door or really just anyone who has breasts. Suresh Bhaiyya is just so cutely and disgustingly horny that after a while we are utterly charmed by his casual display of manhood in all situations, like Priapus.

Priapus Frescoe, Pompeii

He has his libido hour all day. Unlike Bhabhi or Boudi who is restricted to the siesta hour. It is a man’s world after all. His clock isn’t noon.

Move over Bhabhiji. We are soon going to have Suresh Bhaiyya. The culimation of the imagination of all the women of India who have access to ImBesharam.com and the iPill. Savita Bhabhi must retire soon now.

Can women graphic artists come together and create this character whose libido goes beyond the glass of milk given at night for performance?

We are not worried about a ban on Suresh because it is OK for Suresh Bhaiya to have the roving eye and the appetite for whoever comes his way. What a stud!

But Savita Bhabhi is the prostitute that needs no introduction to the masses for her loose character. She is read hidden behind closed doors.

Get cracking ladies, Desperate housewives and Savita Bhabhis will soon have competition with Sultry Suresh Bhaiyya and Briefcase Bob and they will soon change the current zeitgeist of sexual disparity where the homemaker is pushed to the side and is no consequence to the social narrative of development, opinion or such. She is boring, horny, ill-informed, financially dependent and generally a dumbass.

And what about all that the Savitas did selflessly for their homes and the people living in it? Haha ok but.. look at how slutty she is! What a MILF! Right?

.. and now it’s Suresh Bhaiyya’s turn to shine!

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1 Comment
  1. I like the flow and the style of writing. Feminism is hot and so is your Suresh Bhaiyya description. :). Keep writing.
    It also has a traditional flavor which is very endearing. Just like a folk tale. There is so much need for such expressions like boudi, bhabhi to relate to.

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